How to Minimize Wedding Day Chaos (and What to do When it Arises)
You read that right. Today, we’re talking about the inevitable reality of wedding day plans going awry. How do I know this to be fact? Well, besides having shot countless weddings and not having one go exactly to plan, I have my own wedding experience to draw from. Would you believe that I stressed over a micro wedding with just 24 guests in attendance? Well, I did. And would you believe multiple things didn’t align exactly as I had planned? They didn’t. From our Zoom not working during the ceremony to our photographer not knowing our start time and almost making us late, our tiny and no-fuss micro wedding had its ups and downs.
So… can you completely avoid snafus on your wedding day? No. (If you do, please tell me, and I’ll call the Guinness Book of World Records.) But I do have a few tips to keep the madness at a minimum and preserve some of your sanity so that you can enjoy your day and your spouse to the fullest.
Tip #1: Compile a wedding day disaster kit.
In the days leading up to your wedding, I recommend creating a basket, duffel bag, or bin of any possible thing someone may need on your wedding day. This kit may look a bit like a portable junk drawer, but I guarantee that putting in the effort ahead of time to have a variety of “just in case” items handy will save a lot of headache on the big day. Here are a few things I’ve seen save the day for brides, bridesmaids, and groomsmen alike.
A mini sewing kit for wardrobe emergencies.
I also highly recommend having hemming tape and an iron handy, because you just never know.
Ibuprofen or Acetaminophen
Because headaches and wedding stress go hand in hand.
Deodorant
Self-explanatory.
Stain Remover Stick
As a mom to a toddler flower girl, I can attest that this is a lifesaver.
Pads or tampons
Because these emergencies tend to crop up at the most inconvenient times. Most venues should have these handy, but it never hurts to be prepared.
Extra hairpins, hairties, mini hairspray + dry shampoo
Especially if the bridesmaids are doing their own hair.
Chapstick
Am I the only one who tends to have chapped lips the worst when I’m part of a wedding party? Maybe. But I’m sure glad someone had thought to pack extra lip balm.
Safety pins
These can come in handy for a variety of reasons on a wedding day. Just pack a handful.
Chewing gum or breath mints
My personal favorite on my wedding day.
WATER!
Just have an extra bottle or two in your kit because we really don’t want anyone passing out during the ceremony.
In my opinion, there’s no such thing as “too much” in a wedding day emergency kit, so chuck in anything you think may potentially be useful. Will you use all of it? I certainly hope you won’t have to. But the peace of mind alone is worth lugging a little extra to your location.
Tip #2: Game plan for family formal portraits.
Believe me, family portraits are prime time for a hectic frenzy. There are many ways this can melt down. Family members of the happy couple wander away or leave the ceremony location altogether without realizing they’re needed for formal portraits. The bride is overwhelmed trying to track down the groups that she’s listed for each photo. Everything is loud, and everyone is overstimulated. What ensues is a period of time where the bride and groom have to stand in the same spot and keep a literal happy face during seemingly endless photos, while internally, they’re screaming. We want to avoid this as much as possible.
One of the best ways to keep things running smoothly during this chaotic period of time is by appointing at least one, ideally two or three people, to assemble the groups for each photo. My recommendation is to have the maid of honor or best man keep a list of the group portraits you’d like done, and designate a family member from each side to round up the individuals needed for each photo. Obviously, your photographer should also have a list of the group photos you need, but having a member of each family to gather everyone up mitigates a whole lot of confusion.
Another good tip is to have someone touch base with family ahead of time to let them know where they need to be for photos and how many groupings they can expect to stand in for. An announcement directly following the ceremony is great, too. Why not double up on the reminders so that everything can run as smoothly as possible.
#3: Make sure you know your photographer and have communicated effectively before the wedding day.
This was my biggest mistake on my wedding day. And I know, you may be thinking that I’m overstating the importance of the photographer’s role in the day because I am one. But let me tell you, I didn’t know my wedding photographer at all, and it came back to bite me on the wedding day. Having planned a wedding during the pandemic and having changed our wedding date and location due to regulations, we didn’t want to have to worry about losing deposits should something happen again. We opted to book our venue with the photographer built into the package. It seemed easy at the time; we just had to pass a few details on to our venue, and they were supposed to handle the rest. We didn’t even know which photographer on their team was assigned to our wedding. There was no back and forth, no expectations discussed, no rapport built. She just showed up and began snapping photos. A stranger was standing in on the best day of our lives, and it felt awkward. I distinctly remember panicking after the photographer walked away with my dress to take detail photos… I was supposed to be at Colin's and my first look within 20 minutes. Time ticked by, I was late, I didn’t know where the photographer had gone with my dress, and I realized with horror that I didn’t even know her name!
While this situation is probably pretty rare, I still want to caution you not to make the mistake I did. Whoever you book to photograph your wedding should have a running dialogue with you from booking date to gallery delivery. They should welcome any questions and be responsive and helpful throughout the process. Your photographer shouldn’t be afraid to wear multiple proverbial hats on the wedding day, and can be a huge asset to keep your entire timeline running as smoothly as possible.
#4: Expect delays (and roll with it!)
As I said, I’ve never seen a wedding timeline that’s been perfectly adhered to. Even if you plan every detail meticulously and follow these steps to the letter, you’ll be running behind at some point. Go in with the expectation that while this is a momentous day and while you’d love to see it go off without a hitch, there’s going to be snags along the way, and that’s okay! Maybe you’ll somehow lose track of your dress, and maybe you’ll barely make it to the ceremony on time. And guess what? You’ll still be married at the end of the day. And you’ll still have all your closest friends and family in one spot for one day. The question is, are you going to let the little details bog you down, or are you going to shrug it off and enjoy the party? Your reaction to the chaos is what will make or break the day, both for yourself, your wedding party, your guests, and most importantly, your spouse. So raise a toast, kick up your feet if you can, and drink it in. Because it’ll be over before you know it, and you’ll be left with the memories.
And of course, the pictures.